inside I'm crying
outside I'm smiling
no one notices
but its hard for me to control this
when you see me walk by
it doesn't look like it but I want to die
thoughts racing through my head
then comes the tears that I shed
how can I change
all the tears and rage
you say you understand
and all I need is a helping hand
that may be true
but first take a walk in my shoes
sadness, angers, and unbearable pain
you'll be taking a walk full of nothing but shame
as time moves slower
my self-esteem gets lower
am I nothing to this world
or am I just a worthless teenage girl?
I slit my wrist to erase the pain,
you look at me, and think I'm insane,
my eyes turn red, bleeding my tears,
and still you try to protect me from my worst fears.
Look at my scars then you will see,
why I can't seem to go around and fake happy,
yet you tell me you love me, that you'll forget,
for I'll soon be gone, and I'll be your greatest regret.
So let me die, broken and scarred,
I can't deal with life, it's getting far to hard,
everything's gone wrong, it's not worth trying,
so leave me alone because I feel like I'm dying,
I don't want you to worry,
because my life is ending in a hurry,
I'll be fine, and happy you see,
for death is what I wished for and soon it will be.
My world is falling, crumbling apart, life is meaningless & that's just the start
My hearts so sore, I can feel it breaking & I swear to god it leaves me shaking
Late at night till early in the morning, lying in bed eyes wide open. Didn't sleep last night, like all the others, instead I just lie crying in the covers
Quick, wipe away all the tears before they come near. must hide this depression & the feelings of fear
For all they know I'm happy & always smiling, but deep inside my soul is dying
I can feel it rotting, it wants to scream, but I won't let it... not for the time being
I can never tell them how I feel cause the happiness I wear to them is real
For them to hear that I wish I was dead... it would kill them, they'd be filled with dread
So I'll try my best no to be selfish, I'll keep my secret hidden & just let them rest
but god I can't take it much longer... I'll probably be dead before they even wonder
you don't understand
you never do
I try to explain
but I can't get through to you
I tell you the truth
that I feel so depressed
but you say I'm okay
I thought you would know best
so I sit in my room
locked in my personal hell
while you pretend its all good
and I do as well
but I'm not okay
and my friends know that too
but you can't seem to see
what is right in front of you
you say its a phase,
blame my friends for it all
but you don't understand
that this is not their fault
I can't live like this
I can't live this life
and as much as I tried
I can't end it with a knife
I know you've been through this
that you ached so much more
but I can't help but wonder
don't you know me at all!?
I thought you would get it;
why I'm acting this way
but you don't fucking listen
to what I have to say
you just ignore me
pretend I'm alright
I want this to end
I feel like I might...
but I'm not as strong
as I'd like to be
so I'll act all normal
while I wait patiently
for my time to come
and I hope that its soon
my friends understand
I wish you could too
but you don't understand
and I know its not fair
but sometimes I feel
like you don't even care
I feel all alone
but I know that's not true
I have all my friends
but I wish I had you
I know with my friends
I'll make it through this
even though it feels like
my life's falling to bits
you don't understand
you never do
but I hope with their help
I can make it through
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